Complication (Review)

Another Sunday, another review. Today will be a Japanese song since last week I had featured a relatively unknown Korean song which I recommend to anyone interested in Korean music or Indie. Today’s song is different in the fact that some may know this song from the anime Durarara as the second opening of the first season. I had the pleasure of completing the first season this past week after finally getting around to the anime which had first piqued my interest all the way back in 2012 when it was fairly new. I hope to get to the next season within the next few days (Thank you, Netflix!).

Despite being more than 5 years old, Durarara is still an anime many should watch especially since it has such an array of characters to feel connected to along with a story line that keeps you engaged and binge-watching episode after episode. This opening contrasts the first opening where as you can see the setting was brighter with the characters appearing more care-free leading their lives in decent peace. Even the song, Uragiri no Yuuyake (English: Treacherous Sunset) sounds more upbeat and laidback with a fun edge. Contrast that to Complication which sounds darker and filled with more angst against a greyer and bleaker backdrop of the characters in the opening. Both openings will serve as a way to set the tone and the mood for the episodes of the season. I think this is what allured me to both openings, Complication specifically.

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Uragiri No Yuuyake (Opening 1)

 

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Complication (2nd Opening)

While I do recommend Theatre Brook’s Uragiri No Yuuyake; however, let me finally introduce the band behind Complication–ROOKIEZ is Punk’d, a Japanese rock band operating mainly around the Shibuya area. Still, for any anime connoisseurs, you’ve probably heard some of their other songs in anime like Blue Exorcist and Bleach. They definitely get around as they are currently trying to expand nationally and internationally as well. One of the three members, Shinnosuke, who is also the main vocalist, acts as a model as well which is quite an accomplishment. Definitely check them out if you like their hard rock sound combining heavy use of the drums and guitars. If you want to learn more about them, check out there official website, the band’s biography is in both Japanese and English amazingly.

Admittedly, I won’t spend that much time writing out how the melody of the song sounds like. I just want you to listen to it this time. Listen while you’re reading this review or some of my other content. Or if my content is too subpar (which I admit it is) than listen to it while reading other WordPress users content. Whatever works for you. I will just leave some lyrics from Complication that resonates with me in some way. Please enjoy your Sunday afternoon 🙂

Worrying that everything might break
I fear tomorrow
But I know that I won’t find any answers
by looking at the day after tomorrow

What will I draw on the blank canvas of tomorrow that stretches endlessly?
What will I draw on the black canvas of tomorrow that’s been dyed by reality?
With struggle, it will shine

Complication PV (sorry no English subtitles this time)

Side note: There is actually another version of Complication called the Still Struggle version. It is basically the same as its original though it carries a more harder rock sound especially in the beginning. Check it out as well, if you wish.

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그 밤 (That Night) “Review”

Okay, once again it’s Sunday, so here’s another “review” for the ones who are interested. This time I wanted to write about a Korean song, but not one of the Kpop variety. I feel as if Kpop songs usually receive enough press that they really don’t need a 3rd rate writer like me going over their songs when they have professionals doing that. I really just write these for fun and to get lesser known artists and music groups the attention I think they deserve since mainstream music already gets enough attention. Though I do want to write music recommendations for my music influences, specifically my Japanese bands, although I only have two Korean influences and one is mainstream while the other is Indie. Hence why I will only write about the Indie group given time, and if you know anything about mainstream Kpop you should already know about the other. So consequently,  I really want to share really cool and interesting songs that many may not know about.

Case in point, this song, That Night, is by the Korean Indie artist, Kim Sungkyung, who goes by the name Lovewave as a stage name. Admittedly, most of the information I managed to scrape together is from website, K-pop Amino, a site that shares and informs readers of general Kpopness I believe (I haven’t used the site at all, besides for this entry). K-pop Amino describes Kim Sungkyung as “a Korean piano and ambient noise driven indie soloist” who used her Youtube channel to debut in November of 2014.

This particular song was only discovered by me within this past week but I really love it. Her calming and soothing voice that’s neither too high or too low with that slight husk awakens my brain in a way. Her music is just refreshing for my brain contrasted to the usual music I listen to. The keys of the piano are distinctly heard being struck before she truly begins to sing. This beginning and the rest of the song just brings forth images of a quiet afternoon of pensive reflection with most likely a gentle downpour going on in the background. Perhaps you watch the rain fall from the sky with languid eyes as you reminisce over a lost love or the idea of the past. It’s the kind of song that carries a bittersweet melody that’s neither here nor there and all you can do is just appreciate the beauty it casts and let the tune relax you as if there is not a care in the world. At the end of the song, it sort of feels like you just have to make an accord with yourself, your thoughts, and the person at the reciprocating end in a capitulation to not worry and let things remain as they are. Which I believe is the general feel of the song’s message.

After all this, I wander why songs like these are more circulated, but perhaps they don’t have big companys or the same amount of advertising their mainstream counterparts receive. And perhaps they prefer it that why. For me at least, if I was in the music industry, I’d prefer Indie as it just seems more mellow and chill compared to popular music. Hopefully one day I will have more information and expertise on all of this but I will save that for a later post as I’m now running on a tangent.

All in all, I’d definitely recommend Lovewave. I’m already listening to her other songs along with “That Night” as I write this post. Ghost is another song I’d recommend from this greatly multi-talented musician and and independent artist. Her Instagram seems to showcase her as a great photographer as well. Okay, I’m a bit jealous, but it should only inspire me more.

As always, I’ll leave some lyrics from 그 밤 (Geu Bam) that I find the most interesting.

We who walked together on that night
We who were walking at the same tempo and sharing long stories
That night, we gradually
Got shivers and left behind our old regrets

Sidenote: I didn’t stumble upon Lovewave through her Youtube channel, however. I listened to a video called Chill Good Beats , created by Ramune ラムネ (Skelix). His or her video is just remixes of some songs including this one yet highly recommended along with the channel’s other videos. Click on the title of the video to go straight to when the remixed “That Night” starts to play.

Thank you for reading!

Lyric source

A Peek Into My Mind Currently

Hello, how is everyone? Are you well? I hope so as I am not feeling too well as per usual. I told myself I would write today on the blog since I hadn’t actually blogged recently excluding my music recommendation which kinda counts I guess. I wasn’t sure what I would write today though I had wondered if I should write down my hopes and ambitions on getting better through some sort of DIY rehabilitation for my complex and insecurities but they were once again attacked today leaving me in another self-hating- “You can’t do anything right” sort of mood.

To be frank, I don’t take compliments or any sort of positive statement on my looks/appearance. I hate my physical appearance. Period. Actually, I hate everything about myself. That mentality took its toll on me today when after washing my hair I had to put it up into a messy bun to let it air dry. Once my parents saw, they compliment on it a few times as my current long wavy hair is always set down. To me, I feel as if they make it a big deal and I wish the would only mention it once if at all. I’m the type of person that doesn’t like to much attention drawn to myself over something such as that and it embarrasses and exasperates me; although, admittedly I’m only usually like that towards my parents. Whenever a stranger compliment me in a similar manner, I just politely give them my thanks when in reality I want to correct them saying, “No, you’re wrong. Don’t say that when I know you’re just being polite.” Since I’m more open towards my parents, they get exactly what’s on my mind and of course they don’t like it and proceed to get upset and greatly disappointed with me. I even caught my mom saying as I left the kitchen, the scene of this confrontation, commenting on how that’s why I have no friends. That hurt. I think that’s the blow that got me the worse and still leaves me feel upset and taciturn towards my parents.

Amazingly, I do have some friends. Do I consider them all close? To be honest, perhaps one or two but I suppose for a person like me that’s all I need. Still, I constantly compare myself to people and measure up myself to friends of my friends and that’s where my cognition becomes conflicted. Not only that, but people I look up to or celebrities I like I begin to validate myself against them and think, “I’m so stupid acting the way I am. I’m such a loser acting like this compared to what they’ve been through.”

Overthinking like this and constantly comparing is a bad practice, but as I’ve said to my parents before–it’s like second nature to me now. Yes, I’ve been through this repetitive thought process for years so I feel as if all hope is lost in changing how I think or do. This comes just when I was thinking of working on some self-rehab to improve my mental and possibly physical condition and yet again, I’m regressing.

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure this will help. They say writing out your feelings and letting it out will allow some release of satisfaction and relief; however, I feel about the same. I’m even thinking that perhaps my parents are right. My personality just doesn’t seem suited for real life interactions, huh? Maybe I should go ahead and plan out my life as a future recluse or hikikomori (Japanese equivalent of a shut-in). I mean I know my love life won’t lead anywhere. Maybe due to my inferiority complex meshed with my insecurities but I’ve realized that I can’t really create feelings of romantic love. Normal love is fine. I love all kinds of people and places, but romantically? No. Although, I don’t believe I’m aromantic. This is evident by the amount of romance movies/dramas, daydreaming, and fanfictions I have written. Thus, the cause is my complex.

Well, I don’t want to bore you more with my dysfunctional mental life. In reality, I’m quite privileged and should feel blessed which I do, but I know I’m not appreciating it to the fullest. It is surprising that God hasn’t smited me down yet, or perhaps he knows that’s what I want. A useless human being like me is greatly confused as to why I’m STILL here when such great people that are my age or younger have passed on. Why? I certainly don’t deserve this life…

Thank you for reading all this way, if there is anyone even reading my post. Please leave a comment as any response is better than none, but it’s up to you. Or, and I know that it is a long shot, but maybe anyone out there feel similar to me? Though I suppose not.  Still, enjoy your night or day and take care of yourself and your life, please.

Daisy (Review)

So, here’s another review I’ve decided to do today. I believe I will try to write one up every Sunday so if ANYONE is actually interested in this stuff than look out for it then. Now, Daisy is from the anime 境界の彼方 (Kyoukai no Kanata) or Beyond the Boundary and is performed by Stereo Dive Foundation. Unfortunately, I have yet to see the anime; though I have watched the first movie which left me slightly baffled and confused admittedly since I had no background. It was a nice movie; although, I probably wouldn’t have been too interested in watching the anime if it wasn’t for the very end when this song. This melody played as the two main characters (featured on the album cover) face each other in a poignant stand off after being separated for a time only for the boy, Akihito, to realize the girl, Mirai, has amnesia. This hits especially hard considering she had done her best to protect him even allowing herself to disappear from his world for what was supposed to be eternal. (Interesting note: Mirai means Future in Japanese which I love and may hint towards the message of this song?). Strangely, this affected me greatly to the point that it stirred up bittersweet emotions. That night after finishing the movie, I looked up Daisy along with the full lyrics and played it over and over again while tearing up and crying. This song just has a way of swaying your emotions and connecting with you on a level that isn’t fully understood, at least for me.

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Kuriyama Mirai during the Daisy ending

This song is lovely to me in the fact that I love everything about it. Just the other night, I left it playing on repeat as I slept only for it to pop up in one of my dreams as I woke up to see it still playing on my phone the next morning. From the melody to the lyrics, everything fits well and helps me immerse myself in the song. From how prominent the piano is to the beating of the drums matching the upbeat yet contemplative tune, this song is wonderful. This song makes me really wish I could play piano just to have a chance at reproducing a melody such as this. As for the message, it makes me feel almost nostalgic for what the singer describes in the lyrics. It’s really difficult to isolate just a few lines from the song as I believe the whole song’s message is one to remember, but I will put the highlights. Starting with the opening lines:

The arrival, tearing the silence into pieces,
Was a predestined encounter for our sake.
And so, you, with regret showing in your grieving eyes,
You wore your sorrow and bloomed beautifully.

A flower, dissolving into someone’s life –
Hey, you can see it too, can’t you?
I’m sure.

To overwrite the accumulated sins,
You’ve got as many times as you need, from the repeating start line.
Painting a tomorrow different from the past,
Painting hope for just the two of us, there’s the start line.
I never say goodbye…
That’s how it always is.

 

I feel as if the lyrics have more impact when coupled with the melody of the song and yet, it still affects me as how I said before in my previous music review, I really want to cut out the negativities of the past and move on to a better me in a better tomorrow. But ultimately, this song makes me feel like I’m waiting for that chance encounter with someone who will journey with me, through the hardships, the obstacles, the good and bad, and more while never really wanting to say goodbye even if we must be separated for a time. I feel as if I really want to connect with this person and I want to stretch out my hand to this person, and yet despite being within reach, something gets in the way. Is it our differences? My lack of understanding? Mental barriers like her amnesia? Sounds kind of romantic in a dramatic sort of way, does it not? (Yes, as you can see I’m a romantic).

Moving on, I would love to continue my tangent but I will stop for the sake of your eyes and time. Perhaps I will visit the song again some other day when I’ve matured a bit more to fully appreciate it and add a better opinionated review.

If interested, I will put the link of the song at the bottom which will lead to the music video of Daisy with English subtitles (Yay!) or you can practice your Japanese, that’s cool, too.

Daisy PV

Lyric credits go to: bambooxzx.wordpress.com

Who Am I?

Really, who am I in this vast world living among 7 billion and plus people with various talents and identities. I feel as if I’m no one. No one who matters even to friends and family, excluding my parents and brother. I’ve spent most of my life fighting a complex that constantly puts me down and degrades me to the point that I feel like even dirt has more importance than I do. There’s a constant competition between the world and I that I feel I’m losing. But I want to change that.

I’m a neophyte on WordPress. I’ve just started writing on this blog with the intention of exposing myself through my poetry, tangents, music recommendations, and other blog posts. But how much can I put out there before people get sick of my content? Well, that’s even if they bother with it in the first place. I really do want to make some impact on the people reading my blog. I want others, who my have similar thought patterns, to know someone is out there like them. Honestly, I really am anti-social or, perhaps I’m more socially awkward to the point that I avoid human interaction in my day to day life simply because I’m embarrassed of myself.

However, WordPress serves as an outlet for me where I can somewhat coherently get my thoughts out there for others to see. I’m not eloquent, but I do want to interact with a wider range of people and I do want to spread my ideas and see what others have to share as well. But the constant comparison and competition I feel deprecates that. I’m amazed to find that a few people have actually followed my blog and I whole-heartedly thank them for it. When I received my first follower, I was so excited and incredulous that I had to stop writing for a few moments as I was in such disbelief that someone out there liked my content enough to put up with it for more than just a post! Thank you so much for all the likes and thank you followers! But please comment more! I would love the feedback.

Still, I realize I’m not the brightest and most positive blog out there. I’ve looked through my followers blogs and others and feel their content is soooo much better that I can’t compete (Check some of them out under widgets on the main menu). For my blog, I feel quite selfish for just writing of myself and my problems though like I said before I hope that there’s someone like me who feels less alone and can connect to my blog on a personal level just like I have for other blogs.

As I write this, I remember Elisa Lam, a Canadian student aged 21, who died tragically inside a water tank at a Los Angeles hotel back in 2013. You may have heard about her, so I won’t go into too much detail especially since this post is getting too long and I mentioned her in another post, La Vie en… But be warned, that post was originally written last year at the height of my self-hate when my negativity was at a climax. But perhaps read it anyway as it will give you a glimpse of a past I want to move on from.

Thank you so much if you read this far! And please if it’s no trouble, leave a comment or feedback. I would greatly appreciate it.

This time I will leave a link to Elisa Lam‘s blog. Just click on her name!

 

 

The Seasons Die Out, One After Another (Review)

Even though it says review in the title, I’m no music critic and especially not one of Japanese music though that would be quite awesome. I thought I would start writing about some music that I really love or that strike a chord within me. This is one of them.

This song is from the Japanese anime, Tokyo Ghoul, which I had the pleasure of starting and finishing a few weeks ago. This song serves as the second ending and is performed by a group called amazarashi. The Japanese title is 季節は次々死んでいく or when romanized, Kisestsu wa tsugitsugi shindeiku. I’m a sucker for any song that utilizes the piano and the strings interlaced with rock which the former is heard from the start. The heavy beats of the drums in the song serve as a build up to the chorus where everything, the melody, the vocals, the beat, and more come together wonderfully to produce this  steady tune that carries me away. Admittedly, one time I listened to it, I cried. I cried because I could feel the singer’s emotions and desires matching mine.

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Main character, Kaneki Ken, in one of the Kisetsu endings

As a struggling poet, I love looking at lyrics to these songs whether they are in Japanese or English. It helps me feel inspired and also resonate with me as a lot of these lyrics speak to me on a personal level. The following is two sets of lyrics from different parts of the song that serve as excellent examples.

In order to uphold the unsteady fact that you’re “you”, your unstable ego ventures to despise you. If you were just able to sing, would the darkness be dispelled? Your life has been left up to a dream rotten at its core.


I address a poem of farewell to my loathsome past;

I have to abandon the remains of these terrible days-these horrid dreams…even if it kills me

In the next life, a flower will bloom to tell you a poem of transition;

Filled with suffering-grieving and moaning, but never dying out…even when starved of sunlight.

That ladies and gentlemen are the type of lyrics and poetry that I wish I could write and yet I believe I will never reach that level. This is why these set of lyrics speak to me because I’ve been so hard and so, oh so self-hating on myself. I find myself battling my inner demons 24/7 because I can’t be satisfied with myself. I can’t accept myself. I really want to let go of my “loathsome past” and move on to a more positive future no matter what troubles or hardships occur. I hope I am not the only one out there like this. But I hold the hope, just like in the second set of lyrics that despite drowning in all this negativity, I can still live on changing for the better just like the flower.

Thank you for reading and if interested, the link to the song’s music video is at the bottom. Mind you, it came from an anime so the video is a bit queer but still worth a listen to. Plus, there are English subtitles!

(Lyric credits go to lyrical-nonsense.com)

季節は次々死んでいくPV