The Little Alien

Lately, I’ve felt lonely. Do you know that saying—”I’m surrounded by so many people, but I feel like the most loneliest person in the world”? I share that feeling right now. On top of that, my complex is back in full force. I don’t know what to do. I want to discuss this with someone, but there’s no one. Not my family, not “friends”, and strangers will think I’m weird. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family and friends, but I can’t talk about it with them. Only in this journal I can freely say what I want without being judged or receiving empty advice.

Once again I stand at the mirror

If only things could be clearer

But the sunlight never reaches me

Only leaving me all the more inferior

This suffocating complex remains a barrier
Standing below others who were blessed with superiority

Smothers me until I can’t breath

This haze eats away any clarity

This pain similar to pulling out teeth

This loneliness that consumes my identity

Who am I? What am I?

 

A lonely alien holds a belief

I’m not human, she says in relief

Never will I reach their level, so why continue to try?

Resolving to uphold that complex, she continues to cry

She wants to be strong and happy

But it still throbs with painful scrutiny

 

Faking a laugh, faking a smile

I sing a false song all the while

I want to be like you

But I want to be me, too

This is the life I drew

 

It seems as if I’ve made a mistake

Of misguided actions in a lost world

I don’t have to be like this

But like a shell with one opening—I’m hollow

Only to be filled with more and more lies

Confusion and pain sets in

 

A lonely alien holds a belief

I was never human, she cries in disbelief

I will never ever reach the skies

Even if I try and try, for me it’s all lies

She continues to believe in that complex

She wants to be strong and happy

But only pain and loneliness reply

 

Faking a laugh, faking a smile

I sing a false song all the while

I want to be like you

But I want to be me, too

This is the life I drew

A life not worth it to continue

(Edit: It says journal in the beginning of the entry because this along with most of my poems on here were written between September of 2015 to the end of 2016).

Advertisements