May is around the corner and the weather is heating up along with people’s moods. I guess I’m part of that. I’m not melancholic but I’m optimistically pessimistic (does that make sense?). Honestly, I feel as if I have no place on this Earth. I feel as if I should have died already. Should I just do it myself? Should I? But I’m a coward and too lazy to make up a way to go relatively painlessly. I don’t see much of a future for myself. University? (Good luck). A job I actually like? (Laughable, I have no idea what I want to do). A husband? (Kill yourself. Don’t even fancy the thought). A social life? (Dead). Yes, I’m a complete failure of a human being and my supposed punishment is death.
Unfortunately, since that hasn’t happened yet, I’ve decided to accept my situation of being utter and complete trash now and for forever. I have to happily accept this prison-like destiny and wait for my just execution. Seriously, shake a noose around my neck and I won’t mind. Just finish it already, being happy with all of this is clearly a façade. A pathetic façade that I will accept with a sigh of defeat.
Cherry blossoms clear
Leaving a depressed me in tears
Wishing to join their death