Puppets

You say there’s no tomorrow

As if you’ve seen everything

Your arrogance and fear of the future

Matches the current state of the world

 

As humans, we’ve lost sight of

The meaning of the present

And forgotten our past

But let me give to you a today to cherish

 

Today, today store away your pride

Stop the act and hang up your Guy Fawkes mask

Don’t pretend to be strong with the rest

Performing on a crumbling stage

Puppeteered by our emotions

Still, do you wish to live like that?

 

Struggling for the sake of others

Struggling to make amends

Struggling just to protect ourselves

We suffer to remain strong for those purposes

However, it’s okay to relax

Okay to release those pent up emotions

It’s okay to cry through that smile

 

Today, today store away your pride

Stop the act and hang up your Guy Fawkes mask

Don’t pretend to be strong with the rest

Performing on crumbling stage

Puppeteered by our emotions

Still, do you wish to live like that?

 

Truthfully, you, I, him, her—

We are all in the same boat

Pretenders who claim to know the world

Only to face the naïve child who doesn’t know of

A past, present, and future

But still—

 

Today, today store  away your pride

Stop the act and hang up your Guy Fawkes mask

Don’t pretend to be strong with the past

Performing on a crumbling stage

Puppeteered by our emotions

Still, do you wish to live like that?

Do you?

Do you?

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Emotions

Lately, I’ve felt that I’ve suppressed my actual feelings and self for so long that I’ve forgotten how to feel or do certain emotions. I also seem to be lost on who I am. When I do experience these lost emotions of mine, I fail to comprehend them and I can’t come up with an appropriate reaction to them.

So, I end up feeling confused and frustrated. I may even lash out to the thing or person who has caused these unwarranted emotions to appear. But in reality, I just want to understand them and know if this is right to feel this way. Should I react like this? Or that? I realize I may be overthinking it, but I can’t help it—it’s my nature.

Eventually, I grow tired of trying to understand and force myself to distance myself from the cause of my emotional distress. I act standoffish and aloof to the point of indifference. I start to lose how to feel as I suppress more and more. However, no matter how much I scream and fight internally, there’s  always a part of me that wants to stop the oppression of emotions and learn how to feel again. I can’t get too excited, I can’t scream out in joy, I can’t reciprocate love for I have lost those abilities. If it continues like this, will I become a robot? Will I become truly apathetic and void?

To be honest, I’m waiting, waiting for my muse to save me? Guide me? Or at least answer me? Actually, I don’t know, but what I do know is that I need it as a spark for my forgotten emotions and serve guide of sorts towards understanding them.

I’m scared to feel, so my emotions stay repressed. But I ache to reach for them again as an outlet, so I don’t live life as a detached person incapable of offering correct emotions to others.

If pride is the root of all sin, then what is the root of all emotions? Tell me, I would like to know

Let’s Share A Memory

Let’s share a memory together

A memory filled with emotions of times gone by

I realize I’m too late to reach you

But with this song I wish to convey

Unspoken words, ideas, and sentiments

My memory begins like a movie

The actors take their places

And perform—captivating the audience

Music plays softly in the background

The opening credits begin to roll

And I—I’m detached from it all

I see you and me and what we could have been

I see you form words of frustration at my careless indifference

You grow tired of my coldness and clumsy words and left

But the truth was…I was listening carefully

Let’s share a memory together

A memory lost in transit by my internal battle

I realize I’m too late to reach you

But with this song, I wish to convey

My unspoken words and sentiments

Speaking was difficult—

You were expressive, I was blunt

Social functions together was difficult

You embraced people, I shunned crowds

Wanting to be more like you

Somehow drew us apart

Your memory fades away like a cherry blossom

It blooms forth bright and young

Only to dissipate in such a short time

My carelessness with myself closed you

You left never fully understanding me

Let’s share a memory together by my internal battle

I realize I’m too late to reach you

But through this I want to convey a lost memory

Filled with unspoken words and sentiments

With gentle expressive love