Sweet Tooth

Her tooth ached with the prospect of savoring the sweets displayed on the store front. The girl stood off awkwardly to the side nervously rocking back and forth. She observed people revolving in and out of the store carrying with them such things as a candy apple or a sprinkled cinnamon cookie. A bittersweet sigh escaped the girl’s lips as she watched wistfully from afar.

After some time of debate, the girl proceeded to ignore her hesitations and set off to enter the shop after a young couple. Once she stepped foot into the shop, she nearly fell to her knees. The soft accented colours of the sweets store were whimsical at best. The air wafted with the scent of baked goods and a motherly atmosphere. There was only one worker to be seen–a male clerk behind the register.

He greeted each customer with a ambiguous smile and a soft brush of his black hair. His demeanor overall was welcoming and affable, but the girl felt strangely intimidated. She would’ve scurried out of the store if it hadn’t been for the presence of an awaiting customer behind her. The poor girl had only the choice to simmer in anxiety and wait for her turn.

To distract herself, she peered into the display cases to pick out what to buy. Although it was futile, as she already had her eyes set on one particular catch–a magnificent pastel parfait. It was gloriously decorated with strips of milk chocolate, creamy strawberry pudding, cinnamon cookie crumbles, and whipped creamed with a cherry rightfully on top. The rainbow sprinkles was an added bonus.

The girl was so beside herself that she didn’t realize her turn had come until the black-haired clerk inquired about her choice. She nearly forgot herself as she locked eyes with him. He was sweet and warm just like everything in this store. His responding smile at her anxious demeanor washed away her fears and she pointed out the pastel parfait.

As she left the store sampling her long-awaited parfait, her tooth ached more than ever. However, she was beyond a care.

A Mixtape’s Stupidity

Tell me the words I need to hear

Not a sharp discord

Not a broken record

No, not even a pitiful chorus

What I want to hear is just you

I thought I loved you

As the distance closed between us

I remember the warmth of the new Spring

We experienced together

The splashes of ice cream on your face

And the mixtape you shared with me

Your entire being locked into one little tape

My own personal portable you

The melodies mixed with your carefully chosen lyrics poured into me

I felt breathless, carried away by the rhythm of you

Tell me the words I need to hear

Not a sharp discord

Not a broken record

No, not even a pitiful chorus

What is it I want to hear–just you

I realized how stupid I was

Staring into the mirror and seeing nothing

Your mixtape was to complement me

But I’m only left with empty words and a discord

The words you shed became old, wrinkled, and overused for another, not me

I wanted to hear you–

My love, my one-sided love

I wanted to hear the sincerity

But like an unfinished mixtape

You played with my emotions and left me dissonant

I Don’t Know

Honestly, I don’t feel like writing a lot or at all, but it might make me feel better…

Hmmm…first there’s the heavy barbells of stress thrust upon me. Then the chains of what’s expected of me and what I should do/ Am I doing this for myself, for others, for the people around me? I don’t even know anymore.

What I do know is that I’m confused, stressed, and lost. I don’t want to feel this way but I still sink into self-destruction and push my negativities on others who may or may not be the cause of said negativities. I really thought I knew what I wanted and where I wanted to go but not anymore. I feel blocked off and chastised to the point that I feel crushed. There’s a tightening in my chest that won’t go away and to put it simply, it hurts. I want it to stop, but I don’t know the cure or maybe I do, but can’t acquire it for one reason or another. What should I do? How should I do it? Will this be okay? Can you tell me? But all I can do is shut my mouth, let my sentiments boil over inside me, and wait to see and hear what I need to see and what I need to hear.

Crying After Thoughts

I just had a good cry. I was doing my homework when I felt a sudden urge to cry. I waited until I finished to lay down and just cry. I’m now listening to Standing Egg’s Nobody Knows (a Korean Indie group). The song pretty much matches my sentiments right now…

~sigh~

I’m sick of myself, but when have I EVER felt great about myself. I want to lose weight, I want to have semi-long hair, I want to be a bit lighter in color, I want this, I want that.

God, shut up! You’re such a…

I can’t write it down, but I will think it and plenty more. Don’t be so material…

Questions that may never be answered:

  • What good am I?
  • Why am I still here?
  • Why am I cold all the time?
  • Why have I been like this since the beginning?
  • Will I ever be the me I want?

Coffee Ramen

I will be honest, I’ve never liked coffee.

It’s bitter stinging warmth leaves me frowning

How could I ever grow to love coffee?

Your kitchen is bright and warm

The aroma of coffee greets me

Hesitant, I watch you cook

Creating a masterpiece–ramen…huh?

Ramen mingles with coffee

Two aromas dance as once

I’m dizzy with the warmth

But I’m so happy to be with you

Our Coffee Ramen rendezvous

Ouch! Bitter cocoa stings my tongue

You wipe away my tears of pain

Sugar is added for sweetness

But the coffee is as bitter as ever

Although, somehow that’s okay

Ramen mingles with sweet coffee

Two aromas dance as one

I’m dizzy with the warmth

But I’m so happy together with you

Our Coffee Ramen rendezvous

The ramen boils over

Hot water splashes on the stove

Vegetables and meat make their escape

Your face is reminiscent of the raw meat from before

But it still tastes just as good

Its heat mixes with your embarrassed affection

I’ve fallen for you once again