Femme Fatale

My heart does a little dance

Bracing for my last chance

The clock ticks to my breath’s quickened pace

The teacher drones on and on in the same place

Just like me and my femme fatale

Silky chocolate brown hair draping her curves

Dark eyes that arrest my heart

Her light steps perfect her body’s pale tones

With legs that know how to work her male drones

She’s got it all- charms, smarts and calls

We’re no match-we are her slaves-her thralls

Ah! I so wish I were you

A femme fatale to a mesmerizing fault

As a girl even I can’t resist this queen

That steals my heart for her bloody reign

This truth of society throbs with pain

It’s so frustrating to be born ugly

Why is this world so unfair to the unsightly?

Silky chocolate brown hair draping her curves

Dark eyes that arrest my heart

Her light steps perfect her body’s pale tones

With legs that know how to work her male drones

She’s got it all- charms, smarts and calls

We’re no match-we are her slaves-her thralls

I feel so sick and disillusioned

Is this our world’s delusion?

But what do I know?

A youth lost in time’s illusion

I want to be you, you know?

But you’re lost in reality while I’m lost in my dreams

Mask

Hiding behind this mask is frustrating, but still-I lose myself in this crowd of drones

Similar styles, faces, bodies, and skin are drowning in a sea of clones

I wander along the edge, sickened with myself for not joining the jamboree

To be alike and not worry over differences, where everyone shows similarity

Feeling that sense of warm security

Feeling like you belong finally

Confidence is at last mine to have

 

My self-confidence is nonexistent

Lost at birth, never to be found intact

I dive into the crowd for that sole intent

Never knowing society’s deprecating contract

A part of me died selling my soul that lacked

 

What kind of existence do we live?

Just a secure and self-convenient state of living

But are you serious-are you kidding?

Pressure and stress converge and scheme

Creating only false illusions

False idols stuck in a delusion

Slowly, slowly rotting into dissolution

 

My self-confidence is nonexistent

Lost at birth, never to be found intact

I dive into the crowd for that sole intent

Never knowing society’s deprecating contract

A part of me died selling my soul that lacked

 

It existed once…my self-confidence

It was unhealthy living this life that way

It was suicidal but I dived anyway

The allure was too much

It was too much

But you saved me, my personal lifeguard

Thank you

Eternal Rain

Sprinkling rain greets me outside this secluded building

It’s a cold shower of serendipity filled with blessings

How is it that rain can comfort me, but not people?

With that repetition, I become drenched at a standstill

This world can be cruel, but don’t forget about the people beside you

Don’t forget where you’re from

Don’t forget how far you’ve come

Don’t forget you who are

Don’t be blinded by all those stars

Don’t lose who you are

And don’t hate your scars

This rain only greets us with an empty pitter patter

Apathetic to our scattered existence

Serendipity arrives to ease the matter

Our spring begins in resistance

As this life goes on, its easier to lose ourselves

What is it that we truly want?

What is it that we really need?

Selfish desires and wishes that stab us in the end

Forces us to pretend and pretend

We lost sight of what we should treasure

And trashed people we should’ve never measured

Is it too late? Too late to escape this rain?

This rain only greets us with an empty pitter patter

Mocking our scattered existence

Serendipity tried to ease the matter

Our autumn begins a cleanse

Don’t cry, don’t worry

There’s always a sun for tomorrow

Don’t fret, don’t wail

Things like love, hope, and dreams are never lost

They always come back with some cost

But you just have to let the rain pass

This rain passes into snow

Melting kisses on my nose and toes

Serendipity arrived gifted in love

As memories of early Spring rain echo from above

My Shadow

Alone with my mirror

I see my shadow coming nearer

I can’t escape its grip

Its deathly suffocating

And really displeasing

But its stuck to me and me alone

 

Go away, go away is my neverending spell

But it never fades away

It’s always on my tail

Dragging me nearer to hell

Devouring every way

What can I do to be saved?

 

Alone with the moon

The day closes to soon

But still I see my shadow drawing nearer

An ugly, dark mass of complex anxieties

It claims to be me

It wants to be free

And slowly slowly it kills my passion

 

Go away, go away is my neverending spell

But it never fades away

It’s always on my tail

Dragging me nearer to hell

Devouring every way

What can I do to be saved?

 

Just accept your fate it says

Alone within this mental haze

Perhaps this is just a phase

So I’ll just give in for now

I will fall into its darkness

Fall into this blindness

To become nothing

October’s Eve

Breathlessly I waited amid the couples

For you who’d never leave my side

Who’d never harm me on the inside

But the wind laughs at me through the leaves

Waiting for someone who won’t come

It’s right, you won’t come

 

But what does it matter when the whole world’s in my hands

My world not tainted by society’s ideals

Not controlled by society’s idols

It’s just me, my dreams, and I

Alone on a October’s eve

 

Still, I can’t help but stay waiting

Why can’t I let go of this past?

Couples continuously test me

As I blend into the seams of the background

Just want is it that I want?

 

But what does it matter when the whole world’s in my hands

My world not tainted by society’s ideals

Not controlled by society’s idols

It’s just me, my dreams, and I

Alone on a October’s eve

 

That’s right, I waited and waited

But no one came

No one came for the damsel

The wind my only counsel

Laughing at my pathetic self

Stole my hopes away in its breeze

I stayed frozen, caught in its tease

 

But what does it matter when the whole world’s in my hands

My world not tainted by society’s ideals

Not controlled by society’s idols

It’s just me, my dreams, and I

Alone on a October’s eve

Still waiting for a ghost

 

Love is Exhausting

I thought everything was fine with us

Moments of acceptance and trust

The novelty of simple kisses

The warmth of your radiating touch

Casual words weren’t much

Only your presence is what I missed

But why? Lately I feel us growing distant

Your smiles and affection have the same intent

So it’s me-me that’s closing myself off

I grow icy and cold, afraid of love’s existence

My heart still beats and drums for you

But my mind says no

My chest opens up like a book for you

But my mind says no

My eyes are flooded with tears for you

But my mind says no

My mind says no

It says no

It says love is too exhausting

Too contrasting, too connecting

Love is exhausting

I’m the one at fault?

No, it’s you who made me this way

I closed myself off for you, so you’d go

I closed my heart to wish you away

I grew tired of this love war

And you grew tired of me and my sores

But truthfully, I wanted you to stay

I was scared of being unlovable

With you being so lovable

I wanted to give you more but wasn’t able

With you giving me more than you were able

What the hell is wrong with me?

Disgusted with myself, I had to push you away

Telling you to love another one day

Still, I want you to stay

I love you, but that’s all I have

That’s all I have to give you-my love

I don’t want to give you away

…I don’t want to give you away

But my mind says no

My mind says no

It still says no

It says love is too exhausting

Too contrasting, too connecting

Love is exhausting

Dear Singers

Songs claim to understand me, and yeah, I won’t disagree that they do. But the singers behind the songs…can they truly comprehend us?

At the end of the day, they have everything: looks, charms, talent, and a fan-base that even God would envy. Fans screams and roars as they enter the stage clings to their bodies changing into fuel for them to rock the performance.

Songs about break-up, unrequited love, hardships, and haters. Don’t screw with me. Call me cynical, but besides the haters and hardships, I can’t take you seriously. There’s no way you can understand the vast majority of us waiting to be loved. Waiting to be called beautiful. Waiting for a compassion that won’t come.

You singers are the whole package, so what do you know about us? About me?

Dear singers,

Stop being pretenders. You are too ethereal to comprehend the world you left behind.

Sincerely, Yours truly.